You’re Not Alone, Mom
By Beverly Hills Resident Daniella Emrani
For the first-time mom:
Heavy strollers, complicated pumps, and having no clue what you're doing as you cry your eyes out for weeks after giving birth — I've been there. You feel isolated, and yet, no matter how sleep-deprived you are or how frustrating it is when your baby won't latch, you're responsible for another life.
In the depths of despair, I found what restored me:
Small acts of self-care: I'm talking about a 10-minute shower, a quick YouTube dance workout, a manicure, a phone call with a friend who makes you laugh, or just a walk (by yourself).
Mom groups! By the time your baby is anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks old, you will start the see the light, well, kind of. I LOVED Jackie's Class (in the valley) and Babygroup (in Santa Monica). Each week, for about two hours, I walked into a room where I had other moms to commiserate and rejoice with. Baby comes too, and because they are all around the same age, Allison or Jackie talk about the milestones and challenges to expect. Suddenly, you’re less alone. You have a safe space to vent about your anxieties, navigate the expectations of your new life, and preserve your identity as a person outside of marriage and motherhood. Before you know it, those very moms become your people when you reach the birthday party stage. Finding a mom tribe is invaluable.
For the toddler mom:
With my first child, I went to EVERY class in LA from the time he was four months old. I'm talking about Mommy and Me Yoga and music at Zooga Yoga, Joey's Gym and Bounce (mobile gymnastic classes with slides and obstacle courses), PLAY (painting class), Gloria's Class (Beverly Hills Parks and Rec), PlayCreations Kids (Sensory art classes with a weekly project), and Music Together (Beverly Hills). I not only bonded with my son, but connected with a few women who became my lifelong friends! Oh, and don't forget Mommy Movie Monday at the Grove (imagine a theater with stroller parking and the lights on so your baby/toddler can spill their puffs or babble the whole time).
For the working mom:
"Mom guilt" seems universal and inevitable, whether you work full or part-time. When my son turned one, and I started teaching at a middle school blocks away, for just four hours a day, I knew it would break me. I cried to a fellow teacher on the first day. I asked my nanny to send me videos and photos every hour so I wouldn't miss a thing. After rushing home from school, I spent every moment from noon to dinner with my little one, grading papers while he napped- wondering whether I had failed him because of my absence.
We all lose ourselves initially, but the introspection that comes with motherhood brings us back to who we are–ever-capable women with no limits.
For the "cool" after-school mom:
Connecting with your child after a long school day really strengthens your relationship. After pickup, try to do something special together. Trips to the Beverly Hills Public Library, Color Me Mine (painting ceramics), La Brea Tar Pits, Cayton Children’s Museum, Petersen Automotive Museum, CAMP (indoor play at Century City), Roxbury Park, Coldwater Park, La Cienega Park, and Douglas Park (you can feed ducks here) are just a few of the places that my kids love most.
Believe it or not, one day, you'll miss the bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights, and you'll grieve the loss of one chapter as you start the next.
Mamma, I see you, and you got this.
